When I look at you,
I am looking at me …
In a time or place
I have been, or will be.”
— Guy Finley
Is it worth it? (an unapologetic post)
If you are trying to lose weight, get fit, or both, you will eventually find yourself asking, “Is all this hard work worth it?”
It is a preverbal question. Maybe it’s just a split second of a thought, but I bet it occurs numerous times a day if:
- you are running on a calorie deficit, or
- you are pushing your body to physical discomfort through exercise.
As humans, an immediate indulgence is always (way) more appealing than any named future accomplishment. So, is all the freaking pain worth it?!
YES, YES, a resounding, YES!
One day in 2008, I experienced one of the happiest day of my life. All areas of my existence had blossomed. I will probably talk more about this day in later blog posts, but know this: I was thin.
Would it have been as perfect if I wasn’t thin? No. I would have felt self-conscious. I might have been insecure. I definitely would not have believed I looked as good.
I have a picture of this night. I don’t need to show it now. The crucial factor was how I was feeling inside.
Was being thin that day and during that, and any other, time in my life worth the sacrifice, devotion, restriction of: pizza, cupcakes, breads, ice cream, and any excess calorie? YES!!!!!!!!!
I was only that age, 24, once and I am so fucking glad that I experienced it the way I did and NEVER would I have traded the way I felt about myself for any indulgence.
Disclaimer: being thin, by itself, won’t make you happy. Yet, for me, it is a necessity to enjoying who I am and the environments I choose.
This is why I will never, ever, in a million years, stop fighting for myself! I know what I’m missing.
About a week ago, after an evening workout, I was super pumped. I got in the shower with this great blog post in my head. I was generating cool phrases to express my thoughts and simply could not wait to sit down and write it.
You know what happens next, right? I get out of the shower, check out my face, apply various products, analyze the shape of my eyebrows, wish I didn’t live at my parents’ house, watch Honey Boo Boo and pass out.
So today, this blog isn’t called “Potential” (what the most awesome blog to never exist was going to be titled). However, hopefully I can sufficiently relay the idea that inspired me.
I don’t know about you, but my brain works using “storylines.” When things are going well, I think about where I’ve been and where I could go. I’m never entirely optimistic, so in the storyline of “things are going well,” I smile a bit and go on with my day. Not much umph, I’m just happy that everything isn’t as bad as it could be.
Fast forward to when things are going shitty… the worst of the worst storyline appears to give me hell. I don’t have to delve too deeply into this storyline because you probably have one of your own. Mine deals with: worth, time wasted, failed effort, lack of success, social standing, and on and on.
Now, the breakthrough! Some of you might dismiss my breakthrough as simply positive thinking, but I really believe it’s more than that. It’s not “hoping tomorrow is better” or any abstract “positive thinking” idea. Instead, it’s specific and individualized.
What if YOU combined all of your mental and physical gifts, worked as hard as you could, refused temptation, rejected your demons, and became the master architect of your life?
Picture who you could be on:
December 25, 2013 - Christmas, 128 days from today
August 18, 2014 - a year from today
August 18, 2016 - three years
No naive thinking, no positivity phrases, but a projected image of you if you busted your ass every single day from here on out.
In 1863, after describing the California gold rush, Henry David Thoreau wondered what he would find if he sunk a shaft down to the gold within himself and worked that mine.
Everything you wanted is inside your cup. Drink up.
We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.”
— Jim Rohn
It is clear gain to sacrifice pleasure in order to avoid pain.”
— Arthur Schopenhauer
It’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you.”
I’m the biggest failure known to man. I bet you thought that YOU were a failure, don’t worry, I can out-fail you in no time.
Sadness. Anxiety. Shame.
I really can’t live in a place in my head that is filled with too many of these emotions.
I’m pretty sure that this is what life is about. Dealing with demons, growing, failing, being humbled, and starting over or restarting or picking up the pieces or just basically moving forward one uneasy step at a time.
Because even if you believe that you’ve fallen far below the level you can recover from, new days accumulate. Before you know it, it’s six months down the road and you can be exactly who you are now or you can be six months worth of hard work greater…… and happier, more confident, and more at peace.
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.”
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
- Posted this on 9/29/12, but it deserves a repost.
Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”
— Viktor Frankl
Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?”